


Show Me Your Teeth

by bisexuallaurel



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Vampire Simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 19:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8070151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexuallaurel/pseuds/bisexuallaurel
Summary: It had only been a few weeks since the unspeakable had happened and Simon Lewis’ life, or death to be specific, had taken a horrible turn.or, the one where Simon has been a vampire for a few weeks and is thoroughly miserable, and Jace tries to make things okay again.Trigger warnings in the author's note!





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meliourn @ tumblr](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=meliourn+%40+tumblr).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINI!!!
> 
> I was going to write you something fluffier but this was the only idea I had at the time (which was between midnight and 2 am yesterday), and I'm truly sorry. If you want I'll write you something fluffier and softer to make up for this angst fest. It doesn't end in angst though so I hope you'll forgive me. <3
> 
> Trigger warnings include:  
> \- talk about death (Simon's canon death in particular)  
> \- talk about blood  
> \- self-deprecating behaviour and thoughts
> 
> As usual, I've posted a complimentary photoset on my tumblr, here:  
> http://bi-magnus.tumblr.com/post/150598880544/show-me-your-teeth-a-jimon-hurtcomfort-fic

**SHOW ME YOUR TEETH**

 

It had only been a few weeks since the unspeakable had happened and Simon Lewis’ life, or death to be specific, had taken a horrible turn.

Sure, he had often been overheard complaining about how ordinary his life was and yes, he had an unhealthy interest in horror movies, but that didn’t mean he wanted to his life to _be_ a horror movie.

And yet here he was. 18 years old and a vampire. An _immortal_ vampire, at that.

His nails were digging into his palm to keep himself from crying. He was wandering around Brooklyn, with nowhere to go and nothing to do. It wasn’t even midnight yet but the streets were uncharacteristically empty.

 _They must be sensing there’s a monster out here_ , he thought bitterly to himself. He glanced down at his hands and cringed. He was so pale now.

He missed his tan, warm skin. He missed feeling his own pulse in his ears when he ran. He missed being alive.

Mindlessly turning another corner, he all but ran headfirst into something.

Upon closer inspection, it wasn’t so much a something, as a someone.

“Jace,” Simon sighed, as he recovered from the impact.

“Hey,” Jace said, a small smile on his lips. He took a small step towards Simon, who immediately took two steps back. Jace’s smile faded.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Simon said, and he tried to sound firm but his voice was shaking. For a moment he thought it was the cold, but then again… he was dead. Or undead, or whatever. Not alive, at any rate. He couldn’t feel cold.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Jace said, crossing his arms over his chest like he always did when he was worried. It made Simon’s chest tighten.

“I’m not,” Simon said. “But it doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t be here.”

Jace tried to catch his eye but Simon refused. He knew he’d cave if he looked into those captivating eyes for even a moment.

“Simon…” Jace said, and his voice was so soft, Simon wasn’t sure he’d spoken at all. “Please talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Simon insisted. He was looking around, looking for a way out.

“Simon…”  
  
“No,” Simon snapped. If his heart could still beat, it would be pounding against his rib cage now; adrenaline coursing through his veins. Like a frightened animal, all he wanted was to flee. “Jace, I don’t want to talk. Just go.”

He squared his shoulders and tried to push past Jace to leave, but then fingers closed around his wrist and he was pulled back.

He glared up at Jace, and he tried so hard to hold on to that anger because he _knew_ that the second he looked at Jace, really looked at him, it would be over.

“One minute,” Jace said quietly, still holding onto Simon’s wrist. “One minute and then I’ll leave you alone.”

Simon wanted to say no. He wanted to scream at Jace to leave him alone, to never talk to him again.

But he couldn’t.

Instead he nodded dejectedly, and turned back towards Jace, indicating that he wasn’t going to run anymore.

Jace’s fingers released him, although he looked reluctant to.

“Can we sit down?” Jace asked, pulling his leather jacket tighter around himself. “There’s a bench over there.”

Simon nodded, and followed him across the street to a bench on the outskirts of a park. They sat down, with a fair bit of distance between them.

For a few moments, they were both silent.

Simon’s knee was bouncing slightly and he didn’t even notice. He was too busy trying to catch as many glimpses of Jace as he could without Jace noticing.

If this was the last time he saw him, he wanted to remember his face.

“Are you... “ Jace began, but his voice broke, and he cleared his throat before continuing, “Have you fed?”

Simon grew even paler. “Don’t go there.”

Jace turned to him, and his eyes were filled with concern. “Have you?” he pressed.

Pressing his lips together in a thin line, Simon nodded.

Jace seemed to relax, which made Simon feel even worse.

“I’m not going to attack you, if that’s what you were thinking,” he mumbled, looking down at his shoes.

“Of course not,” Jace said quickly. After a moment he added, “I trust you with my life.”

The words cut into Simon’s heart like a stake.

“Jace, why are you here? Don’t you get it? It’s over. I’m… I _died_.”

“You don’t seem very dead to me,” Jace said, a hint of a smile playing around the corner of his mouth.

“Well, I am,” Simon said humourlessly. “I died and now I’ll spend the rest of forever as a mons–”

“Never say that,” Jace interrupted, his voice harsh. “You’re not a monster. You’re–” His voice softened. “You’re Simon.”

“Not anymore,” Simon said quietly. Tears were starting to cloud his sight and he angrily took off his glasses to wipe the tears away.

“Hate to break it to you,” Jace said as Simon put on his glasses again, “but you’ll always be Simon. Dead or alive, vampire or mundane. You’ll always be my Simon.”

A clump was starting to form in Simon’s throat, making it harder to breathe. Not that he really needed to anymore.

“Jace…”

“It’s okay if you don’t want me anymore,” Jace continued, and he was talking quickly now, as if he needed to get these words out but he was scared he wouldn’t if they didn’t come out all at once. “I understand. It’s a big change and it’s scary and if you don’t want me weighing you down, that’s okay. You can hate me all you want but I can’t live with you hating yourself.”

For a moment, Simon was stunned silent. He was overwhelmed with emotions and he didn’t even know where to begin to sort them out.

Jace thought he hated him.

Jace thought Simon blamed his death on him.

Jace blamed _himself_ for Simon’s death.

Jace didn’t want Simon to hate himself.

Finally, Simon looked at him. It turned out Jace had never really looked away from him, because there he was, all handsome features and immeasurable concern in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Simon choked.

The clump in his throat had grown until he couldn’t swallow around it anymore, and suddenly tears were running down his cheeks and he couldn’t breathe.

“I’m s-so sorry.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and begged the pain in his chest to stop. He was _dead_ , wasn’t he supposed to be above _feelings_?

Before he could fight him off, Jace had slid closer to him on the bench and pulled him into his arms.

Simon was tired. He was tired and sad and heartbroken, and he didn’t have the energy to stay away from Jace anymore.

For weeks he had avoided him. Weeks had gone by without him seeing, touching or even speaking to Jace, and it had been so hard but he had done it because it was the right thing to do.

But here he was. Back in Jace’s arms. The last place he should be right now.

He weakly tried to push Jace off, but the arms around him just tightened and Simon couldn’t bring himself to keep pushing.

Instead, he leaned into it, into Jace, and buried his face in the crook of his neck, sobbing his heart out. He could feel his tears spilling onto the leather jacket beneath his chin, and he could feel Jace’s heart hammering against his.

“Jace,” he choked through his tears. His sobs made it hard to speak, but he managed to get out a broken, “Not safe.”

“I don’t care,” Jace mumbled into his hair.

Simon was too tired to argue. His vampire instincts were always waiting right beneath the surface now, waiting to come out and ruin everything. He tried to put it out of his mind, to focus on here and now. He _h_ _ad_ fed and he didn’t need more blood right now, so there wasn't any immediate danger. It was just vampire hormones.

With his eyes closed, he tried to immerse himself in the now.

He focused on Jace, strong and firm against him, with his arms tightly wrapped around Simon’s trembling body. The comforting smell of Jace’s coconut shampoo and that scent that was entirely Jace.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, but was in reality maybe half an hour.

Jace’s even breathing helped Simon calm down, eventually, and he was finally able to stop sobbing. Even so, Jace didn’t loosen his hold. Instead he held him closer and slowly ran his hand through Simon’s hair, gently scratching along his scalp.

When Simon finally untangled himself from Jace, he realized with a pang that Jace had been crying too. He was slightly red around the eyes and nose, and he sniffled slightly as they parted.

Simon didn’t mean to do it, but on pure instinct he reached up and brushed Jace’s hair out of his eyes. It was such a tender gesture, and it was weird how it felt so out of place while also feeling so very familiar. He had done this countless times before, but the circumstances had been very different. _They_ had been different.

His hand hovered there for a moment, itching to touch Jace’s cheek and…

More than anything else, he wanted to kiss him. Kiss him like he used to before all of this happened, when they were happy and in love. When their biggest issues were picking a restaurant for date night or deciding who should be the big spoon when they took naps together.

Simon missed those times. If only he’d known then how lucky he had been.

“Simon,” Jace said suddenly, yanking him out of his thoughts.

“Yes?” Simon said, and he cringed at how weak his voice was.

“Even if you want to break up, you still need to… you still need to talk to Clary. And Luke. He can help you, you know, with all this stuff. I know vampires and werewolves have their issues but he’s like your dad, and he knows what you’re going through. You don’t have to see me if you don’t want to but you need to see the others.”

If Simon’s heart was still beating, it would skip a beat now.

“I don’t _want_ to break up,” he said, slumping back against the bench.

They were still thigh to thigh, with Jace’s arm loosely draped around Simon’s shoulder.

“Then why—”

“It’s the only way,” Simon said, wiping his nose on his sleeve. “I’m dangerous. I’m a mo— I’m not safe to be around. I can’t put you in danger like that.”

“Look,” Jace said, and pulled back his arm in favour of taking Simon’s hand.

Simon half-expected Jace to flinch at the coldness of his skin, but he didn’t. He just intertwined their fingers and went on.

“I love you. That hasn’t changed. You’re still my Simon, whether you like popcorn or blood.” Simon cringed, and Jace smiled apologetically. “Too soon for vampire jokes?”

Simon nodded, but he was surprised to note that he didn’t feel as much of the crushing panic anymore.

“Well, still. I love you. And I don’t want to break up, especially if you don’t really want to either.”

“But we have to,” Simon said. “Who has ever heard of a Shadowhunter dating a vampire?”

“Alec is dating Magnus,” Jace pointed out. “Sure, he’s not a vampire, but he’s still a Downworlder. It’s not as impossible as you think. And you’ll get trained to control your urges like all young vampires do and… I know it sucks right now but it’ll get better. And if you let me, I want to help you get there.”

Simon’s eyes were welling up again, and this time, he could see the same happening to Jace.

“I wish I could,” Simon whispered. “But I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you because– because of me. Because of what I am.”

Jace cupped Simon’s cheek, slowly running a thumb along his jawline. “You don’t have to worry. I can take more than you think.”

Simon could feel his resolve slipping. Jace smelled so good, and they were so close, Simon could just reach out and kiss him if he wanted to. And oh how did he want to.

He finally felt like he was home again after weeks of being isolated with a strange new part of himself he didn’t know. Jace was familiar, he was comfort, and warmth. He was everything Simon craved.

But he was still too scared.

“I don’t know,” he said, biting his lip.

Jace’s thumb brushed against Simon’s bottom lip, his eyes tracing the movement.

“Jace,” Simon breathed, and he wasn’t sure if he or Jace initiated it, but suddenly Jace’s mouth was on his and one of his hands was tangled in his hair, while the other still cradled Simon’s face. Simon grabbed the lapels of Jace’s jacket and used it as leverage to pull him closer.

It was desperate and clumsy and absolutely magical.

It felt like a lifetime had passed since the last time they kissed, and in a way it had. They were both different people now, but maybe that wasn’t the end of the world.

With his eyes closed, Simon allowed himself to completely and utterly devote himself to the feel of Jace against him; his hands, his lips, the quick beating of his heart that seemed to reverberate through both of their bodies.

As Simon tilted his head slightly to deepen the kiss, Jace hissed in pain.

Simon immediately pulled back, alarm evident on his face.

It took him a few moments to realize what had happened, because Jace didn’t say anything, just stared at his mouth. He didn’t look horrorstruck, but rather mildly startled.

Simon’s hand flew up to his mouth, and he tasted blood on his lips. A surge of panic went through him.

His fangs were out.

He clasped his hands over his mouth and tried to move away from Jace, but Jace steadied him and put an arm around him.

“Simon, shhh, it’s okay,” he whispered, urging Simon to lower his hands without success.

“I could have killed you,” Simon said, his words slightly muffled by his hands. “I shouldn’t—”

“Hey, babe,” Jace said, tilting Simon’s chin up to look at him. “I’m a Shadowhunter. I’ve fought off multiple demons without as much as my seraph blade with me. I’m tougher than you think and I won’t break.”

“Shadowhunters aren’t immune to vampire bites,” Simon countered. He had lowered his hands slightly, so they weren’t completely blocking his words from coming out, but he still held them ready to hide his fangs again if need be.

“No, but I’ve got killer reflexes,” Jace said, and there was that hint of almost arrogant confidence that had annoyed Simon so much when they first met. Now he saw it for what it was — Jace’s way of trying to reassure and soothe him.

The corners of Simon’s mouth tugged slightly at the familiarity of Jace trying to banter with him.

It faded quickly as Jace started talking again.

“I’m not going to pretend like I won’t let you feed on me if you need to, because we both know I would, but—”

“I wouldn’t!” Simon said, panicked.

“But,” Jace continued promptly, “I know that’s not what you want, so we’ll work on controlling your hunger. Every vampire goes through this, but not every vampire has an amazing boyfriend to help them, right? So you’ll be much better off than the others right from the start.”

For the first time in weeks, Simon smiled. A real, genuine smile. He couldn’t help himself.

He loved Jace so, so much, and he had forced himself to reconciliate with the idea that he might never see Jace again. For the first time since becoming a vampire, he felt a flicker of hope.

If there was a way to keep Jace, then things could still work out.

If he could still be with Jace, it didn’t matter that he couldn’t go to college like he’d planned, or that he wouldn’t be able to eat his favorite foods anymore.

As long as he had Jace, there would be something to hold onto while he figured everything else out.

“I love you so much,” he said, and he felt a bit faint with how much weight and meaning were in those five words.

Jace’s face split into a grin that seemed to mirror Simon’s own small seed of optimism.

He cupped Simon’s cheek again, shifting slightly closer to him as he did so. A small smile still on his lips, he brushed carefully, oh so carefully against Simon’s bottom lip. His finger caught slightly on one of Simon’s fangs, and Simon recoiled.

“It’s okay,” Jace soothed, his other arm still loosely wrapped around Simon’s shoulders. He squeezed his shoulder, and then brushed against Simon’s fang again. “See? It’s okay.”

Simon had been holding his breath, which was technically pointless. He let out a breath of relief anyway.

It was okay. He hadn’t attacked Jace, and Jace hadn’t left him.

On the contrary, Jace was quite hellbent on staying with him, no matter what. And when Simon reached up to gingerly touch one of his fangs, all he felt beneath his fingertips was plain teeth.

“We’ll get through this like everything else,” Jace said, who had been watching him in silence. “All that matters is that we love each other, right?”

Simon nodded, and before he lost his nerve, he leaned in and kissed Jace again.

It was softer this time, and not quite as desperate even though there was still a strong undertone of intensity.

Jace tightened his arm around his boyfriend and pulled him in closer, his breath hot against Simon’s cold skin.

“I love you,” he whispered, over and over like a prayer, against Simon’s lips.

Simon feverishly kissed him back, like he was releasing all the pent up feelings from the last few weeks into this one kiss.

It would be okay.  
  
As long as he had his Jace, it would be okay.


End file.
